Let me tell you about a bad habit I have been known to practice and I recommend NOT doing: Get behind on something you’ve said you’ll do… then not speaking to the relevant people about the delay. 

I do this sometimes. I have phases where I do it very little and that’s great and I think “thank god, by this age, I’ve outgrown it!”. 

And then comes along a difficult bit of life —usually on more than one dimension all at once— and I do it again and again, in several realms, over and over in various ways. Sometimes I’m delayed/not communicating for just a few days—but sometimes for some things much longer. Ugh.  It’s not helpful and it tends to reinforce itself horribly.

So far, I’ve been able to break out of these phases, bit by bit, one self-sabotaging-silence-repair at a time. I’m pushing up and out of one of them now, in April. Sometimes I think I started sliding down last summer, sometimes I think I can trace this one’s uneven depths further back. Whatever. That’s not the important bit. This is: 

If you also do this delay/silence thing, even rarely, and you also feel really ashamed and shitty when and after, I understand. You are not alone. You are still wonderful and you make wonderful things. I support you and praise you for even the smallest steps you take to make it better. I forgive you even if you aren’t ready to forgive yourself. 

I’m working on that last bit too. 

Love to all.